Time for an honest-to-goodness journal.

HtG? Lol.

Anyway, my life has been a rollercoaster lately. My work? Amazing. I think I'll start there.

Work: I've been promoted like crazy in the past half-a-year, and I've loved it. I work at Gamestop -- now I'm an Assistant Store Manager there, and it's fantastic. I can't say I'd like to be doing anything more than what I'm already doing, and that's not something that many people get to say. It's not very often that people get to be as happy at work as I am, and honestly? Nine times out of ten I'd rather be at work than anywhere else. Weird.

My day-to-day life has been... eh.

On the one hand, I've got this not-really-on-again-not-really-off-again woman. She's amazing. I don't think I can even begin to describe how happy she makes me. You've seen it, though, in my writings. But on the other hand, things get said or done that just absolutely kill me. I've had some of the happiest times of my life recently, with her, but she's also been a part of some of the worst times in my life, as well. That's a rough thing to say.

A lot of this is my fault. I didn't have to push. I could've just accepted when things were said, rather than selfishly pursuing my own happiness,and what appeared to be hers. But I'm at an impasse.

She keeps saying things that make me feel like she doesn't want me to be around -- almost like she never wanted me to be around. As if it hurts too much, maybe. But it tears me apart to even think that. Especially with the way our conversations go other than those few brief comments.

I don't know what to think. I love her. I absolutely do.

All I can really hope is that she loves me too.

I sure hope you do, dorogaya. I really, really hope you do.